Hello to anyone who reads these things!

God it's been a while since I've written one of these. I mean, I haven't exactly done one since the first one. And now that the hyperfocus has worn off from coding my site, I've kinda been trying to pull my ass out of a mental health rut ;-; The horrors persist, but so do I, though. So we deal.

And by deal, I of course mean work out what the hell is wrong and what's causing me to feel the horrors so badly. I'm not letting myself get dragged down into the depression pit anymore but FUCK it's hard :( I know I should probably look into getting back into therapy, but I don't exactly have the time to. So right now it feels like my best method is probably to just...figure out good methods that other people learn from their therapists and use those for myself? I know it's not the greatest but...what other options do I have at this point? Being poor fucking sucks.

I'm probably gonna work on resuming my Japanese lessons...again. Honestly I think I should get a friend or smth that'll actually hold my ass to my goals instead of just letting me slack off like this. It's disappointing and I can feel myself kinda slipping in terms of my skills and I wanna prevent that as much as possible

I'm considering making it a point to actually plan out breakfasts and such. Lately I've just kinda been eating granola bars and calling that good but...well, they only get me so far. I don't know much about how to cook but there's really only one way to learn and improve, right? Besides, there was one day a couple weeks ago where I actually got the energy to make myself a decent breakfast and it went really well! I had a fried egg and some toast that day and tbh? I've been chasing that high ever since. That egg was so damn good...

Anyway, I'm probably gonna start using this as a log of sorts for my Japanese lessons so I can keep track of my progress. I'm tired of feeling like I'm stagnating when I am actually learning things, dammit.